By Monique Rhodes
February 12, 2023
Last week I made a podcast called A Challenging Question. Something has come up for me with the replies I have received so I would like to clarify it in today’s podcast. Make sure you listen to the original podcast first so that this makes sense.
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Someone once told me a person can accept anything you say to them if you say it with love. I think that’s what you are saying here—is it? Love for yourself, love for them in that you accept that they are doing the best they can?
Well no, as this would mean accepting something unacceptable as long as it is said with love. It’s more recognising that whatever standards we hope someone to reach, if they don’t reach them, to understand that they are doing their best. Make sense? 💕
Yes. But accepting doesn’t mean agreement, necessarily, but not taking offense. Hearing what is being said to you in love, rather than feeling hurt. It leaves space for both people to be where they are, even if it’s not in the same space. Space for growth.
Thank you for this follow up podcast Monique.
I love the idea of a soft boundary, and the softness occurs on both sides of it. You are softer towards the other person, and you are also less harsh, possibly less punitive on the boundary you set.
The what if they were doing their best question as I see it, actually takes more of the focus off the person and directs it a little more towards the action / behavior. It also gives you space to step back and see the situation fully and see if you also had some role to play in it as well. Asking yourself why am I feeling this way? Why did this trigger me?
The soft boundary may also allow for possible interaction with that person in the future, if circumstances were to change.
Just like me, this person is doing the best they can allows for more compassion and understanding.
yes! You got it! 💕