Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind Podcast, where we're learning how to be happier by working with our minds.
If you'd like to know more about what I teach, come to iintendtobehappy.com and let’s get you on the road to happiness.
The Question That Started It
- A student asked: “How do I become more confident when I feel unsure all the time? I keep waiting to feel confident, but it never comes.”
- The honest answer: confidence isn’t a moment you wake up to—it’s something you earn.
Confidence Doesn’t Come First
- Compliments, lucky breaks, or a viral post won’t build real confidence.
- Confidence is not a personality trait; it’s accumulated experience.
- Courage comes first. Confidence follows.
How Confidence Is Built
- Show up when it’s uncomfortable.
- Do the thing before you feel ready.
- Survive it, learn from it, adjust, repeat—your nervous system calms, your skills sharpen, your self-trust grows.
We All Start Uncertain
- No one skips the early steps; everyone begins with doubt.
- Comparing yourself to “polished” people is a trap—they practiced in private before they looked effortless in public.
My Real-Life Examples
- New town nerves: When I moved to a new town three years ago, I had to force myself to go places. I was nervous and unsure—until I’d gone once or twice. Then it got easy.
- On stage as a musician: Early on, my right leg shook when I performed. Years later I opened two European tours for Chuck Berry—sometimes 12,000 people—just me and my guitar. Calm came from repetition.
- First meditation class: Two girls in India asked me to teach; it was the worst class ever. Now I teach globally—because I kept practicing.
- A student afraid of public speaking: She froze and rushed through slides. We worked on calming the body and simple repetition. One shaky presentation at a time, she grew into command of her words, breath, and presence. She earned it.
What True Confidence Feels Like
- It’s quieter inside, not louder outside.
- Less about proving yourself; more about doing what matters.
- Not “I’m the best,” but “I can handle this—even when it isn’t perfect.”
Your Practical Shift
- Think of one thing you’re avoiding because you “don’t feel ready.”
- Do a small version of it this week.
- Afterwards, note what you learned and what you’ll try next.
- Repeat until courage quietly becomes confidence.
I hope this has been helpful. I’d love you to join the Happiness Club—we’ve got a fantastic set of teachings coming in for October. As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
