Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind podcast, where we’re learning how to be happier by working with our minds. If you'd like to know more about what I teach, come to iintendtobehappy.com, and let's start working on getting you happier.
Reframing Failure
Imagine if every time something didn’t go as planned, you didn’t say, “I failed,” but instead, “Huh, interesting.” What if you treated what people call failure like a scientist?
When an experiment doesn’t go as expected, a scientist doesn’t collapse emotionally. They see the result as data—a clue about the conditions, methods, or variables that might need adjustment. It’s not personal; it’s purposeful.
The Stories We Tell
When we make mistakes, we often react differently.
We wrap shame around the experience, like putting on a heavy coat, and the stories begin:
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “I’ll never get it right.”
In doing so, we miss the most important part—the learning.
Each mistake points us toward what doesn’t work. And knowing what doesn’t work brings us closer to discovering what does.
Progress is Nonlinear
The path to anything meaningful is rarely smooth. Missteps are part of the journey:
- Relationships hit bumps.
- Careers take unexpected turns.
- Creative pursuits stall.
This isn’t because you’re doing life wrong—it’s because you’re doing life at all.
Lessons from My Own Path
In my years of building what I now teach, I’ve made countless mistakes.
I tried many approaches before finding what worked.
I don’t see those experiences as failures. They were lessons, sometimes frustrating, but always valuable.
They gave me the knowledge to say to you, “This might not work, and here’s why.” Each misstep refined my understanding and strengthened my ability to help others.
The Power of Refinement
What looks like failure on the outside is often refinement on the inside.
Your heart might feel tender, but you’re adjusting, paying attention, and growing.
Happiness isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about exploring your life with curiosity instead of criticism.
The Questions to Ask
When things don’t go as planned, ask yourself:
- What am I learning here?
- What does this teach me about what I need?
- What can I change next time?
- Can I hold this moment with softness instead of shame?
Failure as a Teacher
If we treat failure as refinement, it becomes our teacher.
It shifts life from being about proving yourself to evolving.
The people who rise aren’t always the most talented or prepared—they’re the ones who don’t stop at “no.”
They treat life as a series of experiments, learning more with each step, and the path becomes clearer.
So next time something doesn’t go to plan, embrace it. Let it teach you.
The Freedom in Evolving
When you welcome failure as a teacher, life becomes less about proving and more about evolving.
There’s so much happiness in that kind of freedom.
I hope this has been helpful.
As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
