Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind Podcast, where we're learning how to be happier by working with our minds.
If you’d like to know more about what I teach, come to iintendtobehappy.com and let’s get you on that path to happiness. And please come join The Happiness Club—it’s such a beautiful community of learning, connection, and joy.
When Friendships Start to Shift
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships lately.
I’ve lived all over the world and have friends scattered across continents—some are heart friends, those deep, soulful connections that nourish me.
But since settling in one place three years ago, I’ve been reflecting on what it means to build community and what it means to be a friend.
Over time, you might notice that some friendships feel vibrant and alive, while others start to feel heavy or a little bit faded around the edges.
You might begin to wonder, Is it okay to ask for something different now?
And the answer is yes.
Because you’re evolving—and it’s natural for your relationships to evolve too.
Different Friends, Different Needs
People offer different kinds of connection.
Some are heart friends—you can tell them anything.
Others are playmates—you laugh, play, and have fun together.
And then there are friends from your past, woven through shared history.
Not every friend needs to meet every need.
When we try to force every friendship into one mold, we end up feeling drained or disconnected.
It’s okay to recognize when a connection has served its purpose.
It’s okay to bless it for what it was—and gently let it go.
The Cost of Holding On
Many of us were raised to be “nice.”
We keep saying yes out of habit or guilt.
We keep replying to messages we don’t really want to answer, meeting up when our hearts are quietly longing for something deeper.
But when we stay too long in friendships that deplete us, the cost is our own peace.
You don’t need to manage a web of half-alive connections.
Your time and energy are precious.
Honesty in Connection
It’s perfectly okay to want more from your friendships:
- To feel seen.
- To feel safe.
- To laugh, to play, to rest.
- To not have to perform or shrink.
This isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect.
You’re not cutting people off with harshness.
You’re simply recalibrating how you share your heart.
Knowing What You Need
I’ve realized I need two kinds of people in my life:
Heart friends—those I can be fully real with.
Playmates—those I can laugh and play with.
Both matter deeply.
Both feed my soul in different ways.
And both are expressions of love and belonging.
So ask yourself:
Do I feel lighter or heavier after spending time with this person?
Do I feel safe to be myself?
Your answers will tell you everything you need to know.
Friendship as Community
We’re not meant to collect people like trophies.
We’re meant to nurture the relationships that light us up.
Because in the end, you don’t need a hundred people to like you—
you need a few who truly see you,
and a few who remind you how to laugh.
Community is vital for our happiness and even for our brain health.
So build a life rich with connection—deep ones, light ones, playful ones.
Let each have its place, without forcing any to be what it’s not.
A Gentle Reminder
Friendships, like us, have seasons.
Some will grow with you.
Some will drift and return later in a new form.
All of it is part of being human.
Pay attention to what feels real, what feels easy, what feels alive.
Let those be the friendships you nurture.
As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
