Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind Podcast, where we're learning how to be happier by working with our minds.
If you'd like to know more about what I teach, come to iintendtobehappy.com and let me help you on that path.
The Pressure to Partner
I want to have a heartfelt conversation today.
So many of my friends are always looking to find me a partner.
And for a long time, I believed that would make me happier.
But over time, I’ve discovered something different.
My happiness does not require a romantic partner.
What the Research Shows
In fact, the research tells us a fascinating story.
- Single women often live longer.
- They experience less depression.
- They enjoy more autonomy, freedom, and personal growth.
Behavioral scientist Paul Dolan even said:
“The happiest and healthiest group are women who never married or had children.”
That’s not anti-marriage—it’s pro-wholeness.
Solitude vs. Loneliness
Here’s where we often get confused.
Loneliness is painful.
Solitude is powerful.
Solitude, when chosen, is restorative.
It lowers stress.
It deepens authenticity.
It boosts calm and creativity.
Even 15 minutes alone can reset your nervous system.
The Healing Power of Nature
Nature amplifies this.
- A walk in green space lifts your mood.
- Rustling leaves or drifting clouds restore your mind.
- Water gently flowing soothes your attention.
It’s not dramatic—it’s deeply healing.
Community Still Matters
But solitude doesn’t mean isolation.
- Friendships matter.
- Safe, loving connections matter.
- Chosen community matters more than convention.
The Harvard Study of Adult Development shows relationships—not genes—are what keep us well.
Rethinking Wholeness
So let’s push against society’s message that we need a partner to be complete.
- Single women flourish.
- Married men flourish.
- Happiness doesn’t come from conforming—it comes from wholeness.
When we are complete with ourselves, our love flows more freely into every part of life.
Loving Your Own Company
Here’s what I want you to know:
- Being single isn’t lacking—it’s thriving.
- Solitude isn’t a detour—it’s the path.
- Community isn’t only romantic—it’s chosen.
Loving your own company is powerful.
And from there, everything else becomes a gift of presence, not a rescue mission.
As always, take care, be kind, and go gently in the world.
