Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind Podcast, where we're learning how to be happier by working with our minds.
If you'd like to know more about what I teach, come to iintendtobehappy.com. Let me get you started on a really easy process for becoming happier. It’s not as hard as you might think.
When Life Feels Heavy
I received a message from one of my students. He wrote:
“Lately I've been feeling overwhelmed and closed off. I've noticed I'm becoming more protective of my energy—saying no more often, avoiding people, pulling back even from those I care about. Part of me knows I need to protect my space, but another part of me wonders if I'm building walls that are too high. I feel like I've stopped being generous—not just with my time or money, but with my heart. I miss that part of myself, but I also don't know how to open up again when life still feels so heavy.”
He’s recently gone through a divorce, so this is part of the story.
The Weight of Protection
We all know that feeling of holding on too tight.
It’s a kind of internal knot—
A tension we can’t always name.
It often shows up as:
- Irritability
- Being on guard
- The instinct to pull back and conserve our energy
When life feels overwhelming, we shrink.
We retreat.
We try to protect ourselves.
And it’s understandable.
But here’s the truth:
That grip doesn’t keep us safe—it keeps us stuck.
The Shift That Softens Everything
I’ve noticed that in my own life, the times I feel off-balance are the times I’ve turned inward too much.
I’m overthinking.
I’m worrying.
I’m focused only on me.
And that’s when I start withholding:
- I don’t reach out
- I stop smiling
- I forget to ask others how they’re doing
But the moment I notice it—and choose to soften—everything changes.
I say a kind word.
I offer a moment of attention.
I make someone laugh.
And I breathe again.
Generosity Is Letting Go
Generosity isn’t just about giving—
It’s about letting go.
Letting go of:
- The belief that you need to protect yourself from everyone
- The story that if you give, you’ll have less
- The tight grip that’s keeping your heart closed
Giving doesn’t deplete you.
It frees you.
Quiet Generosity Is the Most Powerful
Generosity isn’t always grand.
It often lives in the quietest moments:
- Listening deeply to a friend
- Sending a message just to say, “I’m thinking of you”
- Extending patience when someone makes a mistake
It’s presence.
It’s attention.
It’s intention.
And maybe most importantly, it’s how we treat ourselves.
Self-Compassion Starts Here
If you can offer kindness to someone else,
Maybe you can believe you deserve it too.
We don’t get it right every day.
Some days you’ll feel closed.
Some days you’ll feel empty.
That’s okay.
The point isn’t to always be generous—
It’s to remember generosity.
Loosen Your Grip Today
Ask yourself gently:
- Where can I loosen my grip today?
- Is there a compliment I’ve been holding back?
- An apology that wants to be said?
- A call I’ve been avoiding?
Every time you choose generosity,
You’re training your heart to be a little freer.
The Antidote to Fear
This world is noisy, fast, and unpredictable.
It’s easy to get caught in what’s going wrong.
But the antidote is not control—
It’s connection.
And one of the simplest, most beautiful ways to connect
Is to give what you have—freely, quietly, without expectation.
What you give away doesn’t disappear.
It expands.
It creates space where fear once lived.
Generosity Makes Us More Human
Over time, those quiet acts of generosity build something beautiful:
- A life that’s softer
- A heart that’s stronger
- A spirit that feels fully human
So if you’re feeling stuck or small—
Don’t wait to feel ready.
Just give a little.
Speak a kind word.
Offer your time.
Smile.
You’ll be amazed at how it opens not only the world—
But your own heart, too.
I hope this has been helpful.
As always, be kind.
Take care.
Go gently in the world.
