Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind Podcast, where we're learning how to be happier by working with our minds.
If you’d like to know more about what I teach, come to MoniqueRhodes.com, click on the Happiness Quiz — it’s a wonderful way to see where you are on your happiness journey.
When You Feel Stuck
I received an email from a student who shared that she feels stuck — like she’s trying to move forward but nothing is shifting. This feeling is incredibly common. On the surface, everything may appear fine: you’re doing your tasks, responding to emails, managing your day. But underneath, there’s a heaviness — a lack of excitement, inspiration, or peace. You might ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way? I should be grateful.”
Feeling stuck is frustrating, but it isn’t a flaw. It’s a signal.
Why We Get Stuck
We’re conditioned to believe that stuckness comes from not being productive or disciplined enough. But often, that’s not the truth. We get stuck because something in us is trying to keep us safe. The nervous system and subconscious mind are wired for protection, not expansion.
Whenever you try to grow — in relationships, career, creativity, or personal expression — an internal part may tighten. It whispers: This is unfamiliar. This might be risky. And that protective part becomes louder than the part of you that wants to grow.
One of my clients once said it felt like living in a hallway — the door behind her had closed, but the one ahead hadn’t opened yet. This “in-between” is where insecurities rise. But this hallway is not dead space; it’s sacred space. It’s where we learn through noticing, not doing.
Questions to Ask Instead
Rather than asking “What’s wrong with me?” try asking:
- What am I afraid might happen if I move forward?
- What am I protecting myself from?
- Where am I believing I must be perfect before I begin?
Often, stuckness is tied to unconscious rules:
“I can’t start unless I know I’ll succeed.”
“I can’t leave until I know the next thing will work.”
“I can’t speak up unless no one gets upset.”
But certainty doesn’t exist. These rules keep you frozen.
When you stop seeing stuckness as a personal failure and instead view it as protection, something softens. You become curious. And that’s when things begin to move — not through force, but through gentleness.
Stuckness and Shame
Stuckness often breeds shame. You may think:
“Everyone else is figuring things out. What’s wrong with me?”
But shame has never moved anyone forward.
Compassion does.
Compassion says: Of course you’re stuck. You’ve been through a lot. You’re doing the best you can.
When you bring tenderness to yourself, you shift the energy from self-criticism to self-understanding.
Sometimes You’re Not Stuck at All
Sometimes the feeling of stuckness is actually something else:
- Sometimes you’re tired.
- Sometimes you’re grieving.
- Sometimes you’re healing.
- Sometimes you’re preparing.
Growth often happens underground, quietly — just like a seed resting before it breaks open. Lack of visible progress doesn’t mean nothing is happening.
Ask yourself:
- What does this moment need from me?
- How can I allow myself to be here without rushing?
- What would it feel like to trust this pace?
A New Way to See This Moment
If you feel stuck right now, remember:
You’re not broken.
You’re not behind.
You’re not lazy.
You’re being invited into a deeper relationship with yourself — to listen to the fears beneath the frustration and to trust that the path is forming even if you can’t see it yet.
You don’t have to push. You simply need to be present.
Because the moment you stop abandoning yourself and turn toward your stuckness with love, real transformation begins.
Don’t forget, I’m teaching powerful classes inside The Happiness Club. You can join for your first month for just $1 and explore our growing library of teachings. You can attend live or watch the replays anytime.
As always, be kind. Take care. Go gently in the world.
