The Subtle Messages

By Monique Rhodes

October 22, 2022

Sometimes when we think we are helping people, we also hold them back. Sometimes what we think is love is more about us than about them. 

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  • Wow. This was a powerful podcast for me. It really touched close to home. Right away I could identify a few people in my life that I have been propping up for quite a while. Never would I have intended to give them the message that I didn’t think they could do something. I thought I was being supportive, out of love care and compassion. Now, if I choose to back away and allow them to find their own way, how do I do that with the same love care and compassion? How will they not feel totally abandoned? Is there an explanation to give them for the about face in my response to them? I appreciate a little clarification and guidance. Thank you.

    • Just tell them and show them that you believe in them. Ask them questions like, what do you think you should do, instead of trying to advise and fix. Does that help? đź’•

      • Thanks for the advice. Will try that and see what kind of response I get. No matter what the response, I now see that it will be in their best interest to learn to stand on their own two feet and find their own path.
        PS. Welcome back. Hope you enjoyed your time off. You certainly deserved it. Pura Vida Monique. Isn’t that what they say in CR. Take care.

    • I have experienced ‘tough love’ with our daughter who was a drug addict for 23 years. It was very painful to do this, but she always knew that we loved her. I do believe that it is very important for carers to receive counselling. I have such compassion for parents of troubled children/adults.

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