Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind Podcast, where we're learning how to be happier by working with our minds.
If you’d like to know more about what I teach, come to iintendtobehappy.com. Let’s get you started on the road to being happier—because that’s what we all deserve.
The Drift That Happens
I received a message from a student who said:
“There’s someone I really care about, but we’ve drifted apart. Nothing big happened—we just stopped talking. I keep thinking I should reach out, but so much time has passed that I don’t know how. What should I do?”
Oh, I know this one. Let’s sit with it together.
We’ve all felt that slow drift between people who were once close to us. Not because of a fight or betrayal, but because of something quieter—time, distance, silence. And without realizing it, the friendship that once felt solid starts to feel far away.
Neglect and Silence
Often, it’s not conflict that ends relationships—it’s neglect. A kind of passive forgetting.
When too much time or too much space goes unacknowledged, it begins to harden into something harder to bridge. That’s why, when it really matters, I urge you to close the gap.
We forget how healing it can be to simply show up.
Maybe you’ve been putting off a conversation with your sister because you don’t know how she’ll react.
Or there’s an old friend you’ve lost touch with—you keep meaning to text, but the longer you wait, the more awkward it feels.
Or maybe you gave someone space after a misunderstanding, but months have passed, and neither of you knows how to return.
Presence Is Love
The wedge doesn’t have to be dramatic to be damaging. It’s not always about who was right or wrong—it’s about what’s been left unsaid.
There was a woman I once worked with who had a complicated relationship with her father. Years of missed birthdays, mismatched expectations, and unspoken resentments. Their messages had become polite but distant. Then she found out he was sick.
She told me, “I don’t want the last thing I ever said to him to be ‘Merry Christmas’ in a text.”
So I encouraged her to get on a plane. She didn’t have the perfect words, and she didn’t know what to expect—but she showed up.
And in that moment, something began to soften. It didn’t fix everything, but they reconnected. When he passed six months later, she wasn’t left with silence—she was left with peace.
The Cost of Avoidance
Presence is a form of love. In a world where it’s easier to text than talk, to scroll past than reach out, showing up matters.
Sometimes the biggest damage comes not from arguments, but from not talking.
From not addressing tension.
From not clarifying misunderstandings.
We let space grow and hope it will fix itself—but it rarely does. Time, distance, and avoidance all lead to disconnection.
When Something’s Off—Say Something
When something’s off, say something. Even if you stumble through it. Even if it’s awkward. Even if it doesn’t go perfectly.
Healing doesn’t come from waiting for the perfect moment—it comes from choosing connection when retreat would be easier.
It comes from staying close when things feel uncomfortable.
It comes from noticing when the silence between you is turning into a story—and deciding not to let that story take root.
The Courage to Reach Out
Some relationships are meant to fall away. But others just need tending.
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to be the one who crosses the distance—to say:
“I miss you.”
“Can we talk?”
“This matters to me, and I don’t want to lose it.”
It’s not dramatic. It’s not poetic. But it’s powerful.
When it really matters—don’t wait.
Close the gap.
Even one small step toward connection can make all the difference.
I hope this has been helpful.
Don’t forget to join me in The Happiness Club, where I teach live every month.
Go to MoniqueRhodes.com, click on “Courses,” and you’ll find it there.
As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
