Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind Podcast, where we're learning how to be happier by working with our minds.
If you'd like to know more about what I teach, come to iintendtobehappy.com and let’s get you on track to being happier—because that is what I want for you.
Anna’s Story
I’ve been working with someone I’ll call Anna.
Over these past months, something began to shift for her.
It wasn’t dramatic.
It was slow—like fog lifting, one layer at a time.
When I first met her, she was exhausted in a way that went deeper than sleep.
She carried herself like someone who had been running on empty for years.
And she had a story.
One she told herself, her friends, her family:
- People disappoint me.
- I give everything, and they give me crumbs.
- No one shows up like I do.
And honestly? She wasn’t wrong.
A husband who wasn’t emotionally available.
A job where she was overlooked.
Friends who drifted when life got hard.
The evidence was there.
But the pattern kept repeating.
The Moment That Shifted Everything
One evening, she was retelling yet another story of a man who had pulled away.
And she said, “I’m too much for people. He just couldn’t handle me.”
I asked gently, “Anna, do you notice how most of your stories end this way?”
She went quiet.
Then she said:
“I think I keep picking people who can’t love me… so I get to be right about being unlovable.”
That moment wasn’t flashy.
But it was honest.
And honesty cracks things open.
Why This Matters
Anna realized something many of us avoid:
- We’ve been in every scene of our lives.
- We’re not just the one things happen to.
- We are also the chooser. The responder. The storyteller.
And this isn’t about blame.
It’s about responsibility—
Which is not punishment, but power.
Because when we see our role,
We’re no longer powerless passengers.
We start to notice the patterns.
And we can choose differently.
A New Kindness
Anna didn’t change everything overnight.
But she began to see when her old belief—“I’m too much”—was running the show.
And the more she noticed,
The softer she became with herself.
- Oh, I see why I did that.
- I see what I was protecting.
- I see how that belief shaped me.
Curiosity replaced shame.
And kindness grew where judgment used to sit.
The Real Work
Of course, she still slips into old stories.
We all do.
Growth isn’t linear—it spirals.
But now, she catches herself sooner.
She laughs at the pattern instead of drowning in it.
She chooses something new.
And that’s what this work is really about.
Not fixing.
Not blaming.
But waking up—
And writing a different story.
Where Healing Begins
One of the hardest things we do is look at our lives and say:
“I’ve been here the whole time. What part is mine?”
That’s also when things begin to shift.
Not because the world outside changes—
But because we stop waiting for it to.
We turn inward.
To where the real power is.
To where healing begins.
Not with a perfect life.
But with a more honest one.
I hope this has been helpful.
As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
