Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind podcast, where we’re learning how to be happier by working with our minds. If you'd like to know more about what I teach, visit moniquerhodes.com, where you’ll find a wealth of resources to help you.
Feeling Stuck in Personal Growth
In a recent class, a few of my students shared a familiar fear: feeling stuck.
They worried that despite all the effort they’ve put into personal growth—working on mindfulness, patience, and presence—it seemed like they weren’t making progress.
They still felt triggered.
They still experienced doubt.
They still battled the same fears.
If this sounds familiar, I want you to know: You’re growing more than you think.
Just the fact that you’re questioning your growth, reflecting on your progress, and wanting more for yourself already sets you apart. Most people don’t even pause to consider their personal development.
Why We Don’t See Our Own Growth
There are a few reasons why we often feel like we’re not progressing:
1. We’re Too Close to See It
Think of a child growing up. If you see them every day, you might not notice their changes. But if you don’t see them for a few months, the difference is undeniable.
The same thing happens with personal growth.
Because you live with yourself every second of every day, you don’t always see how much you’ve evolved.
2. We Measure Progress the Wrong Way
Many people believe growth means:
- Never feeling insecure again
- Never getting impatient
- Never making mistakes
But that’s not how real growth works.
True growth doesn’t mean eliminating struggles—it means responding to them differently.
- You recover faster.
- You catch yourself sooner.
- You handle things with more wisdom than before.
That’s what progress looks like.
3. We Focus on What’s Still Hard, Not What’s Improved
The mind naturally zooms in on what still needs work.
If you used to hold onto anger for a week, but now you shake it off in a day, you might not notice your progress—because you’re too focused on the fact that you still got angry.
But progress isn’t about perfection—it’s about movement.
4. The Biggest Shifts Are Subtle
We expect transformation to be dramatic. But real growth happens in the small moments:
- The split second of pause before you react
- The way you speak to yourself with more kindness
- The way you let go of something that once weighed you down
These don’t always feel like big changes, but they are.
5. We Compare Ourselves to an Imaginary Ideal
Many of us believe we should be further along.
But compared to what?
- A version of yourself that never struggles?
- A timeline that was invented out of thin air?
Growth isn’t linear. Expecting yourself to be at some perfect destination only creates unnecessary pressure.
You’re Already Further Along Than You Think
Most people don’t even reflect on their growth.
They move through life reacting instead of reflecting.
They repeat cycles instead of breaking them.
But you—
- You’re questioning.
- You’re paying attention.
- You’re trying.
That alone is evidence of growth.
Growth Is a Spiral, Not a Straight Line
Many people believe that once they learn a lesson, they should never struggle with it again.
But real growth is more like a spiral.
You revisit the same challenges—but each time, from a new level of awareness.
- You still get triggered, but now you notice when you do.
- You still feel fear, but now you recover faster.
- You still have doubts, but now they don’t consume you.
You Don’t “Arrive” at Growth—You Commit to It for Life
There is no final destination.
The idea that one day you’ll be a perfect, fully evolved version of yourself is an illusion.
Growth isn’t something you complete.
It’s something you commit to—for life.
And the moment you stop seeing growth as a race to some imaginary finish line, you can start appreciating where you are right now.
Look Back—Not Just Forward
If you feel stuck, take a breath.
Look back at who you were a year ago, five years ago—not just in terms of success, but in the way you move through life.
- Are you kinder to yourself?
- Do you handle challenges differently?
- Have you let go of things that once weighed you down?
These things aren’t small.
They’re proof that you’re growing.
Trust the Process
Even when you don’t see it, progress is happening.
So trust:
- Trust that you are evolving.
- Trust that you are moving forward.
- Trust that you’re already so much further along than you think.
And most of all, stop looking for a finish line.
Because the journey is the destination.
I hope this has been helpful. As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
