Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind podcast, where we’re learning how to be happier by working with our minds. If you’d like to know more, come to moniquerhodes.com. You’ll find lots of information there to help you become happier.
It’s important to think about who we want to become, the person we want to be. We all carry an idea of the kind of person we aspire to be. For some, it’s about being disciplined, focused, and showing up every day with purpose and determination. For others, it’s about being kind, patient, or someone who moves through the world with compassion and grace. Whatever that vision looks like for you, it’s more than just a passing thought. It’s a reflection of your deepest values and aspirations.
Here’s the beautiful part: becoming that person doesn’t require huge leaps overnight. It’s about proving it to yourself day by day through small wins. Happiness isn’t just about fleeting moments of joy or temporary pleasure. It’s about living in alignment with who you truly want to be. When your actions reflect your values and your daily choices build toward the person you want to become, that’s when happiness takes root. This kind of happiness is quiet and steady. It grows from a life lived with purpose and integrity.
Small wins are the foundation of that happiness. They bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to go. The idea of changing who we are can feel overwhelming, especially if there’s a big gap between how we see ourselves now and the person we want to become. It’s tempting to think that transformation requires drastic action—like running a marathon to prove fitness or quitting your job to redefine yourself. But real change doesn’t come from one dramatic moment. It comes from small, habitual, consistent actions taken every day. These tiny victories slowly but surely reshape how we see ourselves.
For example, if you want to be someone who’s healthy, don’t try to overhaul your entire routine overnight. Start small. Drink a glass of water first thing in the morning. Take a five-minute walk during your lunch break. Swap a sugary snack for something nourishing. These actions might seem insignificant, but they’re not. Each one is a win, a step forward that reinforces the identity you’re building. With every small decision, you’re sending a message to yourself: “I’m someone who takes care of my health.” Over time, these small wins stack up, creating momentum that carries you forward.
During COVID, I trained hard and got myself super fit. The story I told myself was, “I’m an athlete.” Every day, I made small choices in alignment with that story. This principle applies to every area of life. If you want to be more disciplined, start by committing to one small action daily. Make your bed. Write for ten minutes. Organize a single drawer. You don’t have to do it all—just one step. If you want to be kinder, practice one act of kindness daily. Hold the door open for someone or send a thoughtful text. If you want to be more confident, take one small step outside your comfort zone, like speaking up in a meeting or introducing yourself to someone new.
These small wins aren’t just about what you accomplish—they’re about the message you send to yourself. That message is: “I’m capable. I’m growing. I’m becoming.” Small wins reshape our sense of identity. Each time we act in alignment with who we want to be, we cast a vote for that identity. If you want to be a reader, read one page today. If you want to be a runner, lace up your shoes and jog for two minutes. These actions may seem minor, but they’re powerful because they shift how we see ourselves. Over time, you’re not just doing the things a runner, reader, or kind person does—you start to believe you are that person. And that belief is the foundation of lasting change.
Happiness is deeply tied to this process of alignment. When there’s a gap between how we see ourselves and how we’re living, it creates tension. We feel disconnected, unfulfilled, and stuck. But when our daily actions align with our aspirations, that gap begins to close. We feel a sense of integrity and peace, knowing we’re showing up for ourselves in meaningful ways. This isn’t about perfection or achieving an ideal version of ourselves—it’s about progress. That steady movement toward who we want to be is a powerful source of happiness.
Focusing on small wins also brings freedom. It removes the pressure to fix everything at once. Instead of feeling paralyzed by the enormity of the journey, we can focus on the next tiny step. Change doesn’t have to be overwhelming. It can be simple, manageable, and even enjoyable. Each step forward builds momentum, creating confidence that fuels even more action. It’s a cycle of growth and progress that starts with one small choice.
Progress isn’t just about reaching a destination—it’s about embracing the journey. Happiness doesn’t come from achieving a final version of yourself. It comes from the act of becoming. It’s the pride you feel when you take the first step, the satisfaction of making progress, and the quiet joy of seeing yourself grow stronger, kinder, or more capable. The person you want to be isn’t waiting for you in the future—they’re being created right now, in every small win and choice you make.
So how do you start? Take a moment to reflect on the type of person you want to be. What qualities matter most to you? What kind of life do you want to create? Once you have that vision, break it down into the smallest possible steps. If you want to be organized, clear one drawer today. If you want to prioritize relationships, send a kind message to a friend. If you want to be adventurous, try something new, no matter how small. Celebrate each step as a win, no matter how minor it feels.
Each action you take proves to yourself that change is possible, growth is happening, and you’re becoming the person you want to be. With each small win, you’re not just building habits—you’re building happiness. Happiness isn’t about perfection or waiting for a future version of yourself. It’s here, in the small, intentional steps you take each day.
Start now. Take one small step toward the person you want to be. Prove to yourself that you’re capable of becoming, and along the way, let yourself feel the quiet joy of knowing you’re on the path to the life you’ve always wanted.
I hope this is helpful. As always, don’t forget to visit moniquerhodes.com. Be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
