By Monique Rhodes
November 10, 2022
We are so good at jumping to conclusions. It's the way that our minds work. However, sometimes, we are absolutely wrong and hurt our relationships.
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Great Perspective not to jump to conclusions. If you don’t have all the information, the story you make up is often upsetting and not necessary. This is great advice to just wait until you have all the facts
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What a great reminder to not jump to conclusions, and to give people the benefit of the doubt. It is so important to be able to take a step back, focus on the facts and understand that you may not have all the pieces to the puzzle, to get a clearer picture of what happened and why it happened. It was interesting for me when you mentioned how difficult it can be to look at other possibilities, other explanations. In order to do this, you have to take the focus off of yourself (in the victim role). The friend may have triggered the student’s response, but the response and ownership of it I believe belongs to the student.
I have some questions: Would the student have responded as quickly as she wanted to if she didn’t already have the history with this friend and saw her in a certain way? Did this history with the friend make it harder for the student to imagine other possible explanations? What would the student have done next if the friend had not reached out and sent her a response? What would she do with the difficult emotions? Thank you, Monique.🤔💜
Would the student have responded as quickly as she wanted to if she didn’t already have the history with this friend and saw her in a certain way?
It will depend on if jumping to conclusions is a lifelong habit or just a habit with this friend. In most cases, it is probably a mixture of both.
Did this history with the friend make it harder for the student to imagine other possible explanations?
Yes, it may well. Especially if this person has a history of being unreliable.
What would the student have done next if the friend had not reached out and sent her a response?
I would have gotten her to write an email a couple of days later expressing the primary emotion – confusion. And asking to know what happened. That would be the starting point. Coming from a place of curiosity rather than accusation.
What would she do with the difficult emotions?
See them as a story until she had got the facts. There is no point in having complex emotions around a make believe story.
Does that help Marian? 💕
Thanks so much Monique. Your answers to my inquiries were very helpful and much appreciated. Have a wonderful rest of the day. 👍💜