Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind Podcast, where we're learning how to be happier by working with our minds.
If you'd like to know more about what I teach, come to iintendtobehappy.com and let’s get you started on your path to happiness.
When Love Looks Different
A student wrote to me about something many of us can relate to.
She shared how hard it can be when physical affection—like a hug—feels unwelcome.
Some of her friends don’t enjoy being hugged, and sometimes, she doesn’t either.
The challenge is that people often misinterpret these boundaries as coldness or distance.
But really, it’s about honoring each other’s unique ways of giving and receiving love.
Human Difference, Not Rejection
We each carry different histories.
- Some grew up where affection was rare.
- Others carry trauma that makes touch feel unsafe.
- Some prefer love expressed through words, actions, or presence.
None of these are wrong. They are simply human differences.
The deepest kindness we can offer is to stop assuming our way is the way.
Real compassion begins with noticing, with listening, with adjusting.
That is love without ego.
Connection Without Performance
True connection isn’t about getting a certain response.
It’s about meeting someone where they are—not where we wish they were.
If someone doesn’t hug you back, or doesn’t say “I love you,”
they’re not rejecting you.
They’re showing you the shape of their own heart.
And when we honor that shape, we create space for trust, not performance.
Presence, not pressure.
A Story of Shift
One student wrote that instead of saying “I love you” to a friend who never replied,
she tried saying, “Thank you for being my friend. I appreciate you.”
And what happened?
A warmth arose. A genuine connection.
Because it was no longer about needing to be heard—
it was about helping the other person feel safe.
Love Without Requirement
You don’t have to be a hugger to be loving.
You don’t have to say “I love you” to live from the heart.
Love can be silence.
Love can be presence.
Love can be respect for another person’s boundaries.
So today, ask yourself:
“Is my love being received the way I hope?”
“Am I honoring the shape of their heart—or trying to fit them into mine?”
Because the most radical act of connection is not how loudly we declare love—
but how deeply we respect the ones we give it to.
I hope this has been helpful.
As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
