Finding Calm Within

I want to talk about overcoming anxiety and stress because it often feels like an endless journey.

Anxiety and stress show up like unwelcome visitors. They rise up at inconvenient times and stick around longer than we'd like. Sometimes they show up even without an obvious reason. We instinctively try to block them out, push them aside, or drown them with distractions—whether with food, scrolling online, or anything to keep us busy so they’ll go away. But more often than not, the harder we try to ignore anxiety, the louder it gets, turning into a background hum that's difficult to escape. This is where mindful awareness becomes important.

Mindful awareness offers a path that’s not of escape but one of deeper understanding. Instead of trying to force anxiety and stress away, imagine leaning into it, observing it with calm and open curiosity. What if, instead of seeing stress and anxiety as obstacles to overcome, you viewed them as natural responses that deserve a little patience? With mindfulness, this is what we practice. Rather than fighting against uncomfortable feelings, we learn to approach them with compassion and presence.

A mindful approach to anxiety begins with a small but powerful step: simply noticing when stress and anxiety appear. This might sound easy, but it’s surprisingly hard to do. When we feel stressed or anxious, our instincts prompt us to react quickly, whether by distracting ourselves or by criticizing others or ourselves. We might even dive into fixing mode. But with mindfulness, we’re encouraged to pause for a moment and notice what we’re feeling without judgment. When you feel tension building or notice your thoughts racing, try acknowledging it: "I'm feeling stressed" or "there’s that familiar feeling of anxiety." It’s not about ignoring or denying what’s happening but calmly recognizing it, like noticing a wave rising in the ocean without letting it pull you under.

Once we’ve named and acknowledged what's happening, the next step is to bring our focus back to the present, often by tuning into the breath. The breath is always with us, a steady rhythm we can return to no matter what’s going on. When we focus on our breathing, we anchor ourselves in the moment, allowing our awareness to settle rather than scatter. Try noticing the sensation of each inhale and exhale, the coolness of air entering your nose, the warmth as you breathe it out, the rise and fall of your chest, and the slight expansion of your lungs. If your mind wanders, gently guide it back to the breath. In the simple practice of noticing the breath, we find a refuge from the whirlwind of our thoughts and worries. We’re not forcing our minds to be empty or silent; we’re giving our attention a resting place, a safe space in the here and now.

This return to the breath might seem like a small act, but it's powerful. It teaches us that even when anxiety and stress rise up, we can find a steady place within ourselves—a place to breathe, regroup, and ground ourselves. As we continue to practice, we start to see our anxious thoughts and stresses for what they really are. Instead of feeling defined or controlled by them, we begin to recognize them as passing experiences: "I'm having anxious thoughts" or "I’m noticing stress in my body." This shift in language makes a profound difference. By acknowledging our feelings as temporary experiences rather than a fixed identity, we create space between who we are and what we're feeling. This space reminds us that we're bigger than any one thought or emotion.

For many people, this step takes practice. We may have spent years being swept away by our emotions, allowing them to lead us to all sorts of places, believing they define us. But mindfulness helps us see that our feelings don’t have to define us. By practicing presence, we learn to witness our inner lives, observing what arises and fades without getting caught up in it. Sometimes anxiety feels overwhelming, and that’s natural. Mindfulness isn’t about making anxiety disappear but about changing our relationship with it. Instead of treating it as something to conquer, we treat it as something we can coexist with. Stress and anxiety are signals from our bodies and minds—signs that we care, that we’re worried about something important, or that we need extra care and attention. When seen in this light, they become less of an enemy and more of a message to respect.

When stress or anxiety arises, ask yourself what's really going on beneath the surface. Often, our worries are amplified by uncertainty, fear of the unknown, or a longing for stability. Sometimes, they stem from deeply held expectations or fears of failure. By sitting with these questions mindfully, without judgment or urgency, we discover insights that go deeper than surface tension. We might realize that anxiety over a work deadline is connected to a desire for approval, which in turn makes us feel loved, or that stress over a relationship conflict comes from a fear of rejection. Mindful awareness gives us the courage to face not only the feeling but also the underlying needs and truths behind it. With each moment of presence, we build inner trust that no matter what our minds bring up, we have the tools to meet it calmly.

This doesn’t mean we’ll never feel anxious or stressed again. It means recognizing that these feelings don’t control us; they're like weather patterns passing through the larger landscape of our lives. As our practice deepens, we might even find a quiet sense of gratitude for this awareness. Anxiety and stress, while uncomfortable, remind us of our aliveness, our sensitivity, and our capacity to care deeply. They are reminders of our shared human vulnerability and strength. Mindfulness helps us handle our discomfort while fostering compassion for others. We see that we’re not alone, and in our shared vulnerability, there’s shared strength.

At its core, mindful awareness teaches that peace doesn’t come from avoiding life’s difficulties but from meeting them with presence and curiosity. We begin to discover a kind of happiness that’s available even when things are tough, rooted in our ability to face what is without needing it to be different. While we can’t always control our circumstances, we can control how we relate to them. As we grow in mindful presence, we find deep, lasting contentment that doesn’t depend on life being easy. Mindfulness offers the profound gift of living fully and openly, no matter what arises. By facing our minds with gentle attention and allowing ourselves to feel everything without resistance, we build a steady foundation for true happiness. This happiness isn't about avoiding anxiety or stress but realizing that we’re strong enough to experience them without being defined by them. Mindful awareness helps us meet each moment with courage, compassion, and the assurance that we are, in every breath, more resilient than we know.

I hope this is helpful. Don't forget to visit howhappyami.com. As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.