Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind podcast, where we’re learning how to be happier by working with our minds. If you haven’t yet, I strongly encourage you to visit moniquerhodes.com and check out The Flying Start Workshop. This is an amazing two-hour session I run every year to help set you up for the new year, and people absolutely love it. It’s just a few days away, so make sure to join us.
Today is Christmas Day, and let’s be honest—it’s not all holiday magic and cozy feelings for everyone. Maybe you’re feeling that too. Perhaps the day feels a little lonelier than it should, or the pressure to make it special is wearing you out. Maybe the people you thought would show up for you didn’t, or the whole thing feels a bit hollow. If that’s where you’re at, I want to start by saying that I see you.
Christmas can be hard. For all the talk of joy and togetherness, it has a way of amplifying whatever we’re already feeling. If things are great, it can feel amazing. But if things are hard, it can feel unbearable. Wherever you are on that spectrum today, it’s okay to feel it all.
I’ll admit, I don’t find Christmas Day easy. I often feel lonely, and I spend time figuring out what I’m going to do on the day to make it less difficult—especially since I live in a place where many people don’t celebrate Christmas. It’s important to let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling.
A Different Kind of Giving
Today, I want to talk about giving. And I don’t mean perfectly wrapped presents or Instagram-worthy gestures that scream, “Look how thoughtful I am.” I’m talking about giving that’s quiet, simple, and asks for absolutely nothing in return.
Here’s the thing about this kind of giving: it does something unexpected. When you give without strings attached, you begin to loosen the grip of whatever’s weighing you down. It shifts your focus, even slightly, from what’s missing to what you still have to offer. And that shift can change everything.
Giving doesn’t have to be grand or dramatic. It can be as simple as:
- Holding the door open for someone.
- Sending a quick text to a friend to say, “I’m thinking of you.”
- Letting someone merge in traffic with a wave instead of frustration.
What matters is that it’s real and authentic.
The Ripple Effect of Giving
When you start giving in this way, you begin to notice more. You see little flickers of goodness all around you:
- Someone might smile back.
- Someone’s face might soften when you say something kind.
- The world may mirror the kindness you’re putting into it.
This isn’t a perfect system. You won’t always get kindness in return, and some people may not even notice what you’ve offered. But here’s the secret: it’s not about them. It’s about you and the kind of person you want to be, regardless of how the world shows up for you.
Starting Small
If today feels heavy, let’s be real—Christmas can feel that way for many people. Start small. Give something tiny:
- A smile.
- A moment of patience.
- A bit of your attention.
You don’t need to fix the world or force yourself into holiday cheer. Instead, let a little light out. You might find it shining back at you in unexpected ways.
Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect to matter. Often, it’s the simplest gestures that make the day feel real again. Think about someone in your life you can give some love to in an authentic way.
You Are Enough
Wherever you are today, know this: you still have something to give, and it’s enough. You are enough. That, in itself, is a gift.
Don’t forget to join The Flying Start Workshop—it’s a wonderful way to prepare for the new year. Sending you all my love this holiday season. Be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
