Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind podcast, where we're learning how to be happier by working with our minds. If you'd like to know more about what I teach, come to moniquerhodes.com. You'll find The Happiness Quiz and many resources to help you become happier.
One of my students recently came to me, struggling with a fear of failure. She wants to start a business but is unsure if she’s ready. There’s this constant fear: Am I ready? Is this the right time? What if I start this and fail? She asked if I would speak to this topic, which is so important because one of the most essential qualities to nurture is the willingness to try.
It may seem simple, but taking those first steps, especially when we don’t know what's going to happen, truly requires courage. We often see people who seem to succeed effortlessly, and it’s tempting to think they were always confident and talented. But it’s crucial to understand that everyone who has succeeded, every skill developed, every story of mastery, began with a decision to try. This act of trying is where we grow, where we learn, and where success takes root. Before we can accomplish anything, there must be a leap of faith that precedes confidence. That leap is the courage to step forward.
So why is it so hard? We often hesitate because we fear that if we put ourselves out there, we risk failure. Trying something new can leave us feeling vulnerable, afraid we might not meet our own expectations or those of others. Our brilliant minds magnify these fears, making them seem real and threatening. But these are just stories—fears that keep us from moving forward. When we try, we test our potential, challenge our fears, and open ourselves up to something new.
One of the most powerful things about being human is our natural ability to learn. The mind is incredibly adaptable, able to pick up new skills and ideas no matter our age. I have a student in her 80s who is learning all sorts of things about technology and medicine. She’s highly skilled and picking up new things in her mid-80s, which means there’s no excuse for the rest of us.
We need the courage to “have a go,” as we say in New Zealand. That’s the ignition switch for growth. Every attempt teaches us something valuable. We rarely get it right the first time, and that’s okay. Each time we try, we get closer to getting it right. Our minds are wired to adapt, adjust, and improve with each effort we make. Each step forward, no matter how small, builds resilience, knowledge, and confidence.
Here's the real magic: each time we try, we gain a bit more courage. Trying, putting ourselves in the game, is empowering. We move from sitting on the sidelines, wondering what could be, to actively engaging with what could be. Every attempt gives us a small win because we either learn something we needed to know or we take a step forward. Both are steps forward. This builds momentum, helping us move to the next step.
Confidence isn’t about knowing we’ll succeed; it’s about trusting that we’re brave enough to try. Courage doesn’t depend on perfect circumstances or outcomes; it grows simply by showing up. Think about how often you talk yourself out of something before even starting. We often believe we need to be fully ready, fully skilled, or fully prepared. But real readiness is found only after we begin. If we waited until we felt perfectly ready, we’d never start anything new. Every meaningful journey, every skill worth learning, requires the courage to start before we’re certain of the outcome.
The act of trying opens the door to readiness. It’s the first act of commitment, a way of saying, “I don’t know what will happen, but I’m here to find out.” I’m working on a new project right now. I don’t have all the skills for it yet, but I’m determined to find my way to the result. Think of the people who have made a difference—the writers, artists, scientists, athletes, entrepreneurs. They didn’t begin with a guarantee of success. They started with courage, curiosity, and a willingness to show up, even when they doubted themselves. They committed to trying again and again, taking each step forward without knowing the outcome.
I’m not saying that trying will eliminate fear. Fear is a natural part of any journey that pushes us beyond our comfort zones. But courage isn’t the absence of fear. I experience fear all the time, but I don’t let it stop me. Courage is the decision to keep moving forward, even with fear present. In fact, the presence of fear is often a sign that we’re stepping into growth, into a new level of ourselves. That’s why I love the term “scary exciting.” It means something is exciting for the result but a bit scary to get there.
Each time we try, we become a bit more resilient and better equipped to handle the unknown. As we practice the act of trying, something amazing happens—we redefine success. Success becomes less about reaching a final goal and more about learning, growing, and showing up for ourselves along the way. For me, success is so much about the journey, the process of getting to know myself, seeing what I’m capable of, and understanding my limits. The real reward is often found in the process and in how I grow and transform with each attempt.
Setbacks become stepping stones that guide us forward. Each stumble is part of the path to growth. I encourage you to practice having a go. Give yourself permission to start. Take that first step, knowing that the act of trying is its own reward. You don’t have to have it all figured out; you just need to be willing to engage, learn, and grow along the way. Remember, it’s not the final outcome that defines us but the courage to begin and the resilience to keep going.
In this process, we find a fulfillment and happiness that doesn’t come from external success but from the quiet pride that comes from knowing we’re capable of trying, growing, and becoming. That’s where fulfillment and purpose lie, and that’s where so much of our happiness is found.
I hope this has been helpful. As always, if you want to know more about what I do, come to moniquerhodes.com. Be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
