Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind podcast, where we’re learning how to be happier by working with our minds. If you'd like to know more about what I teach, come to moniquerhodes.com, where you’ll find everything you need to get started.
Fear: A Natural Response to the Unknown
One of the biggest things we deal with in life is fear. Right now, there’s a lot of fear in the world. I remember reading one of the first books that had a major impact on me, and its core message was that we are always working with either fear or love. These two forces shape so much of our experience.
Fear is a natural response to the unknown. It rises up when the future feels uncertain or when we don’t have all the answers. I was with my friend Amber’s son the other day, and we were having a conversation about something slightly complex. As I tried to help him understand, I saw his fear turn into overwhelm, and suddenly, he burst into tears. At first, I was confused—why was he crying? Then it clicked: he was afraid because he couldn’t understand what I was saying.
This is how fear often works in our lives. When something feels chaotic or uncertain, fear kicks in as a response to protect us. But what if the antidote to fear wasn’t avoidance or control—but understanding?
Understanding as the Antidote to Fear
In a world that often feels unpredictable, fear can seem like the only logical reaction. But when we take the time to truly understand something—whether it’s a personal challenge, a societal issue, or even our emotions—we strip fear of its power.
Fear thrives in uncertainty.
- It feeds on our lack of knowledge.
- It grows through assumptions and worst-case scenarios.
But when we replace that uncertainty with understanding, something shifts. Fear loosens its grip. In its place, we gain clarity, confidence, and sometimes even peace.
If we recognize that fear is often a reaction to what we don’t know, we can begin to take control of it.
- We often fear illness because we don’t fully understand how to prevent or treat it.
- We fear failure because we don’t understand how resilience works.
- We fear people who are different from us because we haven’t taken the time to understand their experiences.
But knowledge changes everything. When we educate ourselves—when we lean into learning instead of shrinking away in fear—we start to see things as they are, not as our anxiety paints them to be.
Facing Fear Through Understanding
Think about the fears you’ve held in your own life. How many of them lost their power once you took the time to truly understand them? How many situations felt overwhelming at first, only to become manageable when you actually learned more?
Fear often masquerades as something permanent, but in reality, fear is fluid. It shifts and changes depending on what we expose ourselves to.
The more we engage with the world, the more we learn, and the more we realize that most of what we fear isn’t as insurmountable as we once thought.
A friend of mine told me that for a long time, she was afraid of the dark when she was a child. That fear felt real and overwhelming. But when a light was turned on, she could see that there was nothing lurking in the shadows. The darkness itself didn’t change—her understanding of it did.
The same principle applies to all fears in life. When we turn on the light—when we seek knowledge, perspective, and awareness—we see that fear isn’t solid. It’s a veil that can be lifted.
Fear and Happiness Can’t Coexist
Fear and happiness can’t coexist because fear keeps us from being fully present.
- Fear makes us anticipate danger.
- It puts us on the defensive.
- It keeps us bracing for the worst.
But when we replace fear with understanding, we make space for joy, connection, and curiosity.
Curiosity is one of the most powerful tools in this process. When we approach life with curiosity—asking questions instead of making assumptions, seeking knowledge instead of retreating into fear—we transform our experience.
Instead of seeing challenges as threats, we see them as opportunities to grow.
The Strength to Face Challenges with Understanding
Happiness isn’t about eliminating every challenge from our lives. It’s about knowing that we have the capacity to face those challenges with wisdom instead of fear. It’s about trusting that no matter what comes, we can learn, adapt, and handle it.
The more we seek to understand, the less power fear has over us.
This doesn’t mean we’ll never feel fear—fear is a natural part of being human. But it does mean that fear won’t control us.
Instead of shrinking back, we step forward.
Instead of closing ourselves off, we open up.
Instead of feeling powerless, we remember that we’ve always had the ability to learn, to grow, and to move through fear rather than be consumed by it.
And in that process, we find happiness—not the fleeting kind that comes from avoiding discomfort, but the deep, lasting kind that comes from knowing we are capable, resilient, and always able to understand more.
I hope this has been helpful. As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
