Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind Podcast, where we're learning how to be happier by working with our minds.
If you'd like to know more about what I teach, come to iintendtobehappy.com, and let’s get you started on the path to being happier.
The Fear of Judgment
A student said to me recently:
"I want to make a change, but I can’t stop worrying about what people will think."
I know many of us can relate.
That invisible fear of being judged—it stops us from speaking truth, setting boundaries, or following a dream.
The Crowd Dissolves
When I ask my students, “Who exactly are these people?”—there’s always silence.
The “they” we’re so afraid of usually has no names.
Sometimes, at best, one or two come to mind. But more often than not, it’s no one real at all—just a vague, imagined crowd.
The Trap of the Nameless They
And yet, this undefined group holds enormous power.
We shrink. We hesitate. We water down our desires.
All to please people we cannot even name.
That’s the trap.
We abandon what’s real—our truth—for the approval of a phantom audience.
Naming Brings Freedom
When you name the people, something powerful happens:
- The crowd dissolves.
- The fear shrinks.
- You realize their opinions may not matter—or may not even exist.
So much of this fear is just old residue—of culture, of parents, of outdated voices that told us to stay small.
The Real Question
Instead of asking “Who will approve of me?”—ask:
“Whose voice carries love, clarity, and integrity?”
And most importantly: “Am I one of those voices for myself?”
The Invitation to Live Freely
Most people aren’t thinking about you at all.
And even if they are, their opinions don’t hold the wisdom you need.
You are allowed to outgrow the versions of yourself that kept everyone else comfortable.
You’re allowed to stop living for a crowd that isn’t even there.
So the next time you feel yourself shrinking, ask:
Who exactly am I shrinking for? And is it worth it?
I hope this has been helpful. Please don’t forget to come join the Happiness Club. Each month, extraordinary teachers share their wisdom, and we gather for Happy Hour to connect. Come to moniquerhodes.com, click on Courses, and you’ll find everything you need.
As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
