Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind Podcast, where we're learning how to be happier by working with our minds.
If you’d like to know more about what I teach, come to Monique Rhodes.com and try the Happiness Quiz — it’s an important first step, and I’m excited for you to take it.
Anxiety: The Quiet Epidemic
Anxiety has become a massive global issue. Recent statistics show that the average age anxiety begins is just 11 years old. Between 1990 and 2021, anxiety disorders among adolescents and young adults — ages 10 to 24 — increased by 52% worldwide.
Many of us feel anxiety, are aware of it to some degree, and yet often don’t quite know what to do with it. When people think of anxiety, they tend to imagine panic attacks or emotional collapse. But anxiety is often much quieter. It shows up like a low, persistent background hum — subtle enough to dismiss, but powerful enough to shape your life.
Everyday Signs of Anxiety We Often Miss
Most people normalize their symptoms. They say things like, “I’m just tired,” or “Everyone feels this way.” But many of these experiences are signs that your nervous system is on overdrive.
1. Being Constantly Busy
Even when you have time to rest, you fill it — cleaning, organizing, scrolling. You tell yourself you’re being productive, but really your nervous system doesn’t know how to stop. And when you do stop, you feel guilty or unsettled. Rest feels unsafe, not relaxing.
I once went to a movie with a friend who checked her email the entire time. Her life looked productive, even impressive, but underneath it was anxiety disguised as achievement. She told me, “If I stop, I don’t know who I am.” That’s not ambition — that’s overwhelm.
2. Replaying Conversations
You overanalyze what you said, how you said it, how the other person reacted. You convince yourself you did something wrong. This isn’t simply rumination — it’s anxiety telling you you’re only safe if you never slip up.
3. Difficulty Making Decisions
Choosing what shirt to wear or what meal to order can feel impossible. Anxiety turns small decisions into high-stakes events, whispering, “If you choose wrong, something bad will happen.”
4. Over-Apologizing
You say sorry for taking up space, asking a question, or existing slightly too loudly. Not because you’ve done something wrong — but because anxiety has trained you to believe your presence is a burden.
5. Avoidance
You skip the phone call, leave the email unanswered, or decline the dinner invitation — even when part of you wants to go. You label it introversion or exhaustion, but often it’s anxiety trying to keep you “safe” by keeping you small.
I worked with a woman who avoided every social event for two years. She thought she was just tired of people, but underneath she feared small talk, rejection, and not knowing what to say. Once she named it as anxiety, she finally felt empowered to take gentle steps forward.
6. Feeling Disconnected
You’re not sad, but you’re not joyful either. You move through life on autopilot. Emotional numbness is often anxiety that has been running in the background for so long it has drained your system.
7. Deep Exhaustion
No amount of sleep seems to help. Constantly scanning for danger, imagining worst-case scenarios, and performing “I’m fine” is profoundly tiring.
Seeing Anxiety Clearly Changes Everything
Anxiety isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s a tight jaw, tense shoulders, a clenched stomach, or a never-ending to-do list. Once you recognize these signs, you begin to see how often you abandon yourself to feel safe.
You start noticing how frequently fear drives your choices — fear of failure, rejection, judgment, or not being enough.
Seeing anxiety clearly allows you to soften it. Not by forcing yourself to “do better,” but through compassion — the same compassion you offer everyone else so generously.
Questions to Support Yourself
Here are some gentle questions to help create space:
- What am I afraid might happen if I pause?
- What do I need right now, in this very moment?
- How can I be kind to myself today?
Anxiety doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’ve been trying to protect yourself in a world that can feel fast, loud, and demanding.
You can learn to rest.
You can take up space.
You can say no and still be safe.
You can say yes and trust you’ll be okay.
It begins with recognizing the signs, and it grows as you choose a gentler way of being with yourself.
If you haven’t done the Happiness Quiz yet, please do — it’s such a powerful tool. And don’t forget, the Flying Start Workshop is happening on the 30th. Go to MoniqueRhodes.com, click on Courses, and come join us.
I hope you have a beautiful day. As this busy season approaches, be kind to yourself and to those around you. As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
