Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind podcast, where we’re learning how to be happier by working with our minds. If you'd like to know more about what I teach, come to moniquerhodes.com, where we’ll help you get started on your journey to happiness.
The Feeling of Disconnection
I recently received an email from one of my clients. She wrote:
"Lately, I’ve been feeling really disconnected from myself, from other people, from everything. I feel like I’m just going through the motions, and no matter what I do, I still feel isolated. How do I start feeling more connected again?"
This is such a great question because it touches on something so many of us experience. We move through life believing things exist separately—believing that we, as individuals, are separate from everything else.
We think of a tree as a tree.
A person as a person.
A problem as a problem.
But if we look deeper, we start to see that nothing exists on its own.
The Interconnectedness of Everything
Take a tree, for example. At first glance, it looks like a distinct object—standing in a park, a forest, or a backyard. But what actually makes the tree?
- The soil feeds its roots.
- The rain nourishes it.
- The sunlight helps it grow.
- The wind carries its seeds.
- The insects pollinate its flowers.
- The seasons shape its form.
Without any one of these elements, the tree wouldn’t exist as it does.
So, is a tree just a tree? Or is it also the rain, the soil, the sun, the wind, and the seasons? Can we truly say where the tree begins and where everything else ends?
This isn’t just true for trees—it’s true for everything.
You Are Not Separate
You are not a single, separate being. You are your family, your teachers, your ancestors.
You are the books you’ve read, the songs that have moved you, the kindnesses you’ve received.
You are shaped by every person who has ever loved you and every challenge that has made you grow.
If we look at anything closely enough, we see this same pattern.
- A chair is only a chair because of the wood it was made from, the carpenter who built it, the factory that processed it, and the earth that grew the trees it came from.
- A meal is only a meal because of the farmers who planted the crops, the rain that watered them, the workers who harvested them, the drivers who transported them, the people who stocked the supermarket, and the cook who prepared the food.
Nothing exists by itself. Everything is part of something bigger.
Shifting Our Perspective
When we stop seeing things as separate, life begins to feel different.
- We stop feeling so alone.
- We start realizing we are deeply connected—to each other, to nature, to the world itself.
We also stop clinging so tightly to things. If nothing exists independently, then nothing is permanent. Everything is always shifting, evolving, and being shaped by something else.
This means:
- Problems change.
- Pain changes.
- We change.
We don’t have to be so afraid of loss or uncertainty, because life is always in motion.
You Are Not Fixed in Place
Understanding that nothing stands alone also means we aren’t stuck.
- Just like a tree is shaped by the wind and seasons, we are shaped by every moment, every experience, every choice we make.
- We don’t have a fixed, permanent identity. We are always evolving.
This knowledge can free us.
- We become more patient because we see that everything is connected and unfolding in ways we can’t always see.
- We become more compassionate because we realize no one is truly separate from us.
- We become more grateful because we understand that everything we have—our food, our friendships, even our breath—is part of something greater than ourselves.
Recognizing the Connection
In that feeling of disconnection, we can start to see how deeply connected we actually are.
So the next time you see a tree, take a moment to really look at it.
- See the rain, the soil, the sunlight, the wind.
- See the whole universe wrapped up in its branches.
Then look at yourself—and see the same.
I hope this has been helpful. As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
