Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind podcast, where we’re learning how to be happier by working with our minds. If you’d like to know more about what I teach, visit moniquerhodes.com. There, you’ll find a wealth of information to help you on your journey to happiness—because there’s nothing better than being happy.
The Trap of Draining Habits
This year, I’ve been reflecting on habits that drain us versus those that enrich our lives. I’ll share an example: last year, I returned to social media for work. While I initially intended to engage meaningfully with my audience, I occasionally found myself caught up in mindless scrolling. It wasn’t just about the time I was losing; it was the energy drain. I’d watch or read things that added no value to my life. It was all just noise, leaving me feeling frustrated and unfulfilled.
The Importance of Replacing Habits
Here’s the truth about breaking habits: it’s not enough to say, I’ll stop. If we don’t replace the habit with something meaningful, the old pull can creep back in and draw us back into the same patterns. I decided to follow my own advice and replace the habit of scrolling social media with something far more enriching—reading.
Rediscovering the Joy of Reading
I’ve always loved reading. It trains the brain to focus, expands our understanding of the world, and increases empathy and compassion. Reading relaxes me in a way that mindless scrolling never could. So, I committed to reading 52 books this year—one book a week. For someone with a busy schedule, this is an ambitious but achievable goal.
By immersing myself in novels or powerful nonfiction, I’ve replaced the restless energy of scrolling with the calm and enrichment that comes from reading. My evenings now feel peaceful and grounding. After dinner, I curl up with my dogs and a book, and by the end of the day, I feel sharper, more connected, and more aligned with the person I want to be.
The Power of Conscious Choices
When we want to move away from something that doesn’t serve us, it’s crucial to replace it with something better. As creatures of habit, we need to consciously fill the gap left by an old pattern. If we don’t, the default behaviors can easily sneak back in.
For me, reading offers a sense of relief and alignment. It’s not that social media is inherently bad—it’s a tool, and its impact depends on how we use it. I realized I wasn’t using it intentionally; it was using me. Once I acknowledged this, I could shift my focus to something that truly matters.
Facing Excuses and Taking Action
Breaking old patterns requires action, but it’s easy to justify staying in place with excuses. I could have said, I need social media for work, or I’m too busy to read. These would have been reasonable, defensible excuses—but they would have kept me stuck.
The truth is, the smarter you are, the easier it is to talk yourself out of action. Intelligent people often foresee obstacles and imagine cracks in their plans, convincing themselves that the effort isn’t worth it. But progress doesn’t come from avoiding challenges; it comes from facing them, one small, deliberate step at a time.
Instead of focusing on why something is hard, emphasize why it’s worth doing. For me, the joy, growth, and relaxation I get from reading far outweigh the fleeting distraction of scrolling.
Finding Your Replacement Habit
If there’s a habit in your life that drains you, ask yourself:
- What could I replace this with?
- What aligns with my values, goals, or the person I want to become?
The replacement doesn’t have to be monumental. It could be:
- Journaling
- Walking
- Calling a friend
- Cooking a meal
- Learning something new
What matters is that it gives you a reason to choose differently when the old habit calls.
Transforming Wasted Time into Growth
When I look back on this year, I won’t remember the articles I scrolled past or the online arguments I skimmed. But I’ll remember the books I read, the ideas they sparked, and the worlds they opened up. Replacing draining habits with enriching ones isn’t just about the outcome—it’s about how it makes you feel. Reading has brought calm, focus, and alignment to my life.
Action Is Always a Choice
You can dwell on why something is difficult, or you can focus on why it’s worth doing. Replacing what drains you with what inspires you gives you the chance to grow, flourish, and live more intentionally.
So, what will you replace? And what could you gain by doing it?
I hope this has been helpful. As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
