Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind podcast, where we’re learning how to be happier by working with our minds. If you’d like to know more about what I teach, visit moniquerhodes.com. Click on courses, and you’ll find plenty of resources to support your journey.
Grief as a Universal Yet Personal Experience
Over the past few weeks, a couple of people in my life have lost beloved pets. One was a student preparing to help her pet transition, and the other was a close friend whose cat of 14 years passed away unexpectedly. These experiences reminded me how grief, though universal, is deeply personal.
Grief has a way of cracking us open, reminding us how fragile and fleeting life is. When it arrives, it feels like a weight we’re rarely prepared for—whether it’s the loss of a pet, the end of a relationship, or the passing of a loved one. Despite grief being an experience shared by all, it can feel isolating, especially when the world around us continues as though nothing has changed. It’s a strange feeling to carry immense loss while the world spins on.
The pain of grief often mirrors the depth of the love we’ve lost. The loss of a pet, for instance, brings a unique heartache. It can feel confusing and isolating because the world often underestimates the depth of these bonds. I encouraged my friend to honor her loss fully, acknowledging that it was a big and significant event.
The Quiet Impact of Pets
Those of us who have loved a pet know the truth: their presence shapes our days in quiet yet profound ways.
- They are our companions, confidants, and constant reminders of life’s simple joys.
- Their love is pure and free from the complexities that often define human relationships.
When a pet passes, the routines and rituals they anchored in our lives—feeding times, walks, or the comforting weight of their body beside us—suddenly disappear. The absence can feel disorienting, as though the rhythm of our days has been upended. Because pets are woven into the fabric of our private lives, their loss may not receive the external recognition often given to other forms of grief, leaving us feeling as though our pain isn’t fully understood.
The Unconditional Love of Pets
The love we share with our pets is an intimate kind of connection.
- They see us as we are—without pretense—and love us anyway.
- They witness our highs and lows, our faults and vulnerabilities, and their love remains constant.
This unwavering love is one of the reasons the loss of a pet can be so devastating. They provide a sense of safety, comfort, and calm, and their absence creates a void that’s deeply felt.
Grief as a Testament to Love
Grief, as unbearable as it feels, is a testament to life itself.
- We don’t grieve what we don’t care about.
- The weight of loss reminds us that love, even when it ends in pain, is always worth it.
Each loss deepens our capacity to feel. It sharpens our awareness of how precious our connections are and reminds us to cherish what we have while we have it. Grief teaches us to hold on a little longer, say what we mean, and savor the ordinary moments that may one day mean everything.
The Shared Experience of Grief
While grief can feel isolating, it connects us to an invisible community of countless others who have walked the same path. To grieve is to love. It’s proof that someone or something left a mark on our hearts. Though grief changes over time, it doesn’t mean we forget. Instead, it transforms, allowing us to carry our love forward in a new way.
There’s a story from the Buddhist tradition about a woman whose baby had just died. She went to the Buddha, pleading for him to bring her child back to life. The Buddha agreed, but with one condition: she needed to bring him a mustard seed from a household that had never experienced loss. The woman went from house to house, only to discover that no such household existed. Through this journey, she realized her grief, though deeply personal, was also universal.
Grief Is Love’s Continuation
Grief isn’t something we solve—it’s part of being alive. It’s messy, unpredictable, and deeply human. It asks us not to be strong but to be honest. Let the tears come. Let the memories surface. Feel it all. Most importantly, remember that grief isn’t the end of love—it’s a continuation of it. Love doesn’t disappear when something ends; it transforms, shaping who we are and how we live.
I want to share a quote from writer Heidi Priebe:
“As long as there is love, there will be grief. The grief of time passing, of life moving on half-finished, of empty spaces that were once bursting with the laughter and energy of people we loved. As long as there is love, there will be grief because grief is love’s natural continuation. It shows up in the aisles of stores we once frequented, in the half-finished bottle of wine we pour out, in the whiff of cologne we get two years after they’ve been gone. Grief is a giant neon sign, protruding through everything, pointing everywhere, broadcasting loudly: Love was here. And in the finer print, quietly: Love still is.”
As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
