Hi, this is Monique Rhodes. Welcome to the In Your Right Mind Podcast, where we're learning how to be happier by working with our minds.
If you'd like to come and work with me, I'd love for you to join The Happiness Club. It's an amazing place. We have live events, a monthly masterclass with experts I bring in, and I teach once a month. There's also a casual happy hour chat with me every month. It's a fantastic course, and I really encourage you to join. People are loving it.
The Weight of Guilt
One of my students wrote to me:
"Monique, I’ve been carrying this feeling like I messed up so much in my life. No matter what I do, I can’t shake it. How do I stop believing that I’m always at fault, or that something is inherently wrong with me?"
She’s not alone. Many of us carry this weight.
A Client’s Story
I once worked with a client who lived with constant guilt.
- She was tired of apologizing.
- She was tired of shrinking.
- She was tired of believing that every mistake proved she was unworthy.
Her standards were impossibly high—set by parents, teachers, culture, and her own perfectionism.
So when she failed, she didn’t just think, I messed up. She thought, I am bad.
Learning to Hold Something Else
We didn’t try to erase her guilt.
Instead, we practiced noticing something alongside it:
- A moment of kindness.
- A friend appreciating her.
- Allowing herself to rest without guilt.
Tiny moments, held gently. Over time, they began to loosen guilt’s grip.
Shifting the Relationship
She stopped apologizing for small things.
She started speaking up in meetings without shrinking.
She gave herself permission to feel alive, even in imperfection.
The guilt didn’t vanish—but it no longer defined her.
What Letting Go Really Means
Letting go of guilt doesn’t mean ignoring mistakes.
- You’ll still apologize when you hurt someone.
- You’ll still make amends when you can.
But mistakes stop being evidence that you are broken.
They become what they truly are—part of being human.
The Innocence of Your Core
Beneath the regrets, beneath the failures, there’s something untouched.
- The part of you that can love.
- The part of you that can show kindness.
- The part of you that never disappears when you stumble.
Your core is not guilty. It is innocent.
The Freedom of This Belief
When you remember this:
- You stop letting guilt write your story.
- You allow your voice and relationships to open.
- You live from a place of worthiness.
Even amidst mistakes, you remain whole.
Even when you fail, you remain worthy.
Even when you’re wounded, your heart is still innocent.
As always, be kind, take care, and go gently in the world.
